Repentence: Fragments

Recorder on.

Repentence sits inside a large, Achura-designed office; Inara's office. She looks drawn, tired and depressed.

I shouldn't have left home.

She gently flops her head back against the chair.

My life is tearing itself apart, and there's not a damn thing I can do. I'm barely in control any more, and yet it's all me. All my doing. I'm driving Morwen out of her mind with worry, and I can't help it.

I don't know who or what I am any more. I feel like, at any moment, I could change. I think back over the past few days, and it's a mess. Stuff I don't remember, abrupt moodswings for no reason... and then there's my drawing.

She looks glumly at a datapad.

I started it to try and help me focus. Masque said focus was good, before she stopped being able to talk to me. Thought I'd draw a picture of Morwen while she was asleep. I know I suck at drawing, so I didn't expect much from it, but I looked at it again just now, and... that's not what I drew. I did not draw this, I couldn't have done, I'd have been aware of it... right?

She seems on the brink of tears.

And sometimes I can feel her lurking. 'I'll be watching', she said. It feels like she could take over any time she likes, and that's fucking scary. All the more so because I'm beginning to remember what it's like when she does. A spectator in my own body, and there's nothing... nothing I can do.

She closes her eyes, and her temperament seems to change, her tears drying, her tone becoming harder, colder.

And you wonder why I refuse to let you have control? You're pathetic, weak. You let this situation dominate you. I'm what you should be. You're just a snivelling wreck. You lost your right to exist when you made me.

I... I did not fucking make you! Shut up! Go back to your hole, just... GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!

Silence. Tears roll down her cheeks.

Why can't this nightmare end... I want to wake up. I almost don't care if it means Morwen and Inara and everyone aren't real... I want to wake up and be back home, with mother scolding me for another night out... Charity giving me that oh-so-superior look... me not caring, planning my next outing...

I want my life back... I want my mind back...

She curls up on the chair, sobbing quietly for a while. Then Morwen's voice sounds from off camera. "Reppy?"

Repentence hurriedly sits up, wiping her face and putting on a bright smile before calling back.

Morwen, I thought we agreed that you'd leave me alone for an hour. Pleeeease? I need to finish this...

The response is inaudible, but sounds playfully sulky. Repentence sighs very quietly, looking back at the camera, her face a mask of depression. She whispers again.

I want my life back... any of them but this one...

She reaches out and fumbles to turn the camera off.

Recorder off.

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Diary of a Freedom Fighter, Part II

Pain.

Can barely think. Broken ribs. Broken leg. Bruises everywhere. Hurts to breathe. Keep drifting in and out.

I did it. Got my opening. Attacked. Didn't work. She was fast. Knife didn't get the heart. Kameiras were fast. Didn't even have time to grab the Amarrian brat. Thought I was going to die.

Why aren't I dead?

Something wrong.

Master said I'd get out. Didn't tell me when or where to attack. Just said I'd get out.

Still time...

Blood when I breathe. Must have a punctured lung.

Wish I could pass out again...

Diary of a Freedom Fighter, Part I

There's a problem.

All the captives here have been brainwashed. Can't trust anyone. Nearly been revealed several times. Need to be more careful.

Too many Kameiras. Approaching target will be hard. Don't know why she in particular must die. Not like she wouldn't just get out of a clone vat. Master must have some reason. Don't need to know. All scum.

Seen her a couple of times. Been only a few feet away. No sign of weapons or armour. Easy target. Pretends to be friends with all the captives. My face is too new, can't get close. Kameiras are good. Better than master said. Could take a few of them, not enough.

Been avoiding food. Using own supplies. Don't trust it not to be drugged. Must be, to make them all so content.

Master said exit would be arranged after I kill her. Don't see how, but that's not my concern.

Smug and stupid foreman looking at me. Collaborator scum. Wish I could kill him. New job, kitchen duty. Hate kitchen duty, but menial labour is safe. Nobody takes any notice.

Target passing by. Wish I had my weapons, but can't hide them in this outfit. Suicide anyway.

Have to wait.

Mortis: Cobra and Rabbit

Recorder on.

The view is once again of Mortis' Screen Room. Exactly where it is is unclear - the design is different from any of his previous ones. Grander, seemingly more connected. An entire section has a different set of computers from the rest, dominated by a large central screen, which is unusually still, showing only a dark logo.

Mortis sits in his usual swivel chair, tapping through reports occasionally.

Much has happened since my last entry.

Repentence has recovered, much to everyone's relief. I've seen her a couple of times, and I suspect that she'll never fully heal. Certainly Masque doesn't think so, and she'd know. But she's as healthy as can be reasonably expected, and able to function again.

That's more than can be said for Ghost Festival. The announcement that we're shutting up shop was aggravating, to say the least. Cobra was pretty insistent about my next move, and that's not a tie I'm willing to sever, though.

I have been wondering about the wisdom of joining the group, but the information and connections they've given me... it seemed foolish not to.

But Cobra said Veto, so Veto is where I have applied. We'll have to see what happens, of course. Ethan Verone and his subordinates have a record of being very picky about who they recruit, and although my record with PRETA will help, anything could happen. I know Adrastus has already been accepted. No surprise that he chose to go there, the man never did have strong feelings about anything - save for Sansha.

Returning to duty as a full combat pilot will be interesting. Quite why Cobra wants me here, I'm not sure, but it'll be good to stretch my wings again. Hopefully they won't order me to do anything against the Rabbits, though. That could lead to a nasty situation.

He leans back, and pats his chair.

Still, if the worst comes to the worst, I've still got this baby. Nobody outside of my inner circle knows about her, and I intend to keep it that way for some time. I don't know how Cobra got her, and I've no idea why they've given her to me for safekeeping, but I'll certainly make the most of her. There's nothing like an ace up your sleeve to bolster one's confidence.

He smiles humourlessly, then stands.

I should get back to Goinard. Being off conventional comms network has its disadvantages sometimes.

Recorder off.

(OOC note: No, I have never seen GI Joe or anything related to that franchise xP)

Interlude: Medical Reports

Subject: Repentence Tyrathlion

Status: Coma

Cause: Cybernetic virus

Notes:

Patient was submitted earlier today, already unconscious. Her breathing and pulse were both irregular, but not dangerously so.

Initial diagnosis was damaged implants, a not unheard of malady among Cyberknights. Subsequent investigation showed the cybernetics themselves to be intact, but that they were infected by some variety of virus.

Ms Tyrathlion caught this virus some weeks ago from a corrupted interface on a Sansha vessel, but it was thought to have been successfully purged from her system with no ill-effects. Apparently some parts were not excised, and it has successfully spread throughout her system.

It does not appear to be threatening her life, and with careful surveillance, she should be able to be kept alive indefinitely. However, investigations have revealed that the virus has spread to all her clones, both hard and soft, so until a means of clearing the virus from her system and - the harder part - deactivating the malicious commands it has created - it may be impossible to wake her.

We will, of course, continue our research into the matter, but it may simply be a matter of time...

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(OOC: Something a little different from her usual kidnapping... this is my way of ducking out of the RP scene, and Eve in general, for a while until uni lightens up.))

Repentence: Blood, Family and Tradition

Recorder on.

Reppy stands, watching out of the window of her personal battleship, the old Apocalypse class Terrastra Draconis. The ship is apparently undocked, maybe in an asteroid field.

She seems to be toying with an amulet of some kind. When she holds it up to the sunlight, it becomes clear that it is a miniature khumaak.

Weird world. Something starts as a symbol of power and faith, and ends up as a symbol of freedom and anarchy.

I'd forgotten I had this. Saki gave it to me for my eighteenth. Must've been one of the few possessions she had, I was really touched...

I've been wondering more and more what happened to her. Hell, what happened to all of the underground crowd. People just sometimes vanished, and they took it in their stride. So I did as well, because... well, that was just how it was for them.

She broods for a while.

Now, looking back, I realise just how much I and every other Khanid and Amarrian just took them for granted. A permanent underclass, and they didn't care, because trying to change it was impossible.

It's funny. The blazing row I had with Cael has made me think. Clearly he loathes slavery in all its forms, and while I still think he's a narrow minded idiot, he might have a point. The old system back home is flawed.

I want to go back home.

She pauses for a time.

Not to stay or anything. But I'm beginning to feel like there's a lot of loose ends, a lot of things I should clear up. Thing is, it's not that safe. I'm sure there are people who would get twitchy over having a known associate of the Cartel poking around. I may not have a Concord record, but that won't matter to everyone.

We'll just have to see, I guess. Inara probably won't be happy, but she'll understand. She always does.

I can't pick up what I left behind. That's gone for good, and I'd have to sacrifice too much to get it back. But abandoning my past isn't the answer. I need to honour it in some way...

She watches the flash of mining lasers for a time, then reaches out.

Recorder off.